A baby story- part1

Have been meaning to put this down…even before I considered blogging…Not for posterity or reliving it but because someday I want to share it with my lil one and don’t want age playing tricks on the mind then. Will do it in 2 parts…coz its really really long…..

For a long long time, I felt I wasn’t prepared to be a mother and then when I thought I was ready, destiny wasn’t. As they say man proposes…god disposes…Then started the relentless trips to doc, tests, blah blah…only to be told there was nothing wrong (if you discount having PCOD, since these days the whole world and their neighbors seem to have this)…well then what was…Anyway a couple of IUIs later, was recommended to a very good fertility specialist, who completely won me over with her honest feedback, cheerful disposition and warmth. So we decided to go the IVF way. By then, I had mentally decided that this was going to be my last medical effort…and if god was willing, I would be blessed, else life I guess would go on….

Started on the IVF cycle in August 2006, only to abort it midway due to high sugar levels which would reduce chances, so doc changed course, decided to get sugar levels under control and then restart the IVF cycle. Early December, we began the routine suppression cycle again, followed by stimulating meds and injections, scans etc…everything under control, egg retrieval was scheduled for Jan 6, 2006, which went off well, my lilP was conceptualized that very day….2 days later Jan 8, 2006, we had the embryo transfer done and since we had two good embryos, doc decided to do a second transfer the day after as well to increase our chances. Then began the excruciating wait, hoping, praying for our own miracle..Every little symptom of pregnancy on the internet was searched, read, reviewed…signing off with consolation that it was too early. Meanwhile all the ovarian hyper-stimulation was beginning to show its after effects, with a bloating belly (due to water retention apparently). I was in constant touch with doc who kept assuring me it was ok, but nonetheless telling me to call her if I felt differently.

On Jan 18, middle of a busy workday…I began to feel just that…called the doc, who asked me to see her at once…She had one look at me and asked me to get hospitalized…my face turned pale and instinctively she turned around and said that this was due to hyper-stimulation and that this was only so I would be monitored more carefully, especially since I stayed pretty far(almost 25kms) from the hospital and couldn’t rush there everynow and then. Wasn’t scheduled for the blood work to test HCG levels till Jan 23rd or so and was highly nervous with these turn of events. All that I could do was pray and pray and pray some more. The next day, Jan 19, doc decided there was no harm in testing for HCG, gave the blood sample and waited…tensed, cranky….hubby was out on work and I was sitting in my hospital bed…fidgeting with the TV remote and pushing away the tasteless food, all the while looking at the time and wishing for it to show 2pm (it was around that time, that normally all the bloodwork reports came in), the assistant doc came into my room….asked me how I was feeling…I guessed she had come for her routine check and just shrugged my shoulders …looking at her wistfully…She came close to me, held my hand and said that the results were out. i looked into her eyes questioningly and she said the HCG levels are good….which means u r pregnant….

For what seemed liked ages I am sure…I just didn’t react. So she repeated, as if not sure if I had heard it right. And then something in me gave away…and I just hugged her tight and cried my heart out……yes…somewhr at the back of my mind…I was preparing myself to be disappointed and this news was just so perfect…that I couldn’t hold back the storm…………Then ofcourse…hubby was called (who was more relieved than delighted, I think), parents were woken up (they were visiting my bro in US, so was way past midnight thr)…S-i-l was called, a close friend was spoken to and the joy was shared enthusiastically.