Baby Story part2

The hospitalization continued for a few more days to ascertain that we were going to be fine and then was packed off by the doc, with meds(progesterone supplements, etc etc) and was told to take it easy for a few days….the first question I asked her then was when can I resume work…nd she said I would have to take it easy till she did the USG around 4 -5 weeks and she would then advise…So was advised loads of rest, drinking gallons of water (this was to take care of the hyperstimulation) and very little activity…Was a little crappy and nervous, plus was missing my parents badly (they weren’t expected back from the US for almost 5 months)…then my maasi (bless her) promptly packed her bags and came over to stay with us and took charge of hormonal me, harrowed hubby and home….the blood tests to monitor HCG levels continued every 3-4 days…till we did the USG….doc confirmed that all was well…it was a single pregnancy (ya..they actually use the word single, since there are huge chances of multiples…inspite of having extremely high HCG levels, which as per my own research were a sign of multiple pregnancy)…and that I could go back to work…and generally chill. So all was well….Maasi, on ensuring we would do fine, returned to her home and I got back to work and reading up on what to expect while expecting and more.

Less than 4-5 days of this bliss and one night, I woke up from sleep feeling uncomfortable, a min and I realized the sheets were wet…first thought was had I lost control of my bladder…didn’t know what was happening....a surge of fear engulfed the mind…..shook hubby awake…and asked him to switch the lights and my worst fears were confirmed….the sheets were stained…yes I was bleeding….emergency calls happened to the doc, who advised taking an injection and lying down with feet raised and not moving. Nurse was found in the middle of the night, injection hunted down, nerves were being calmed and a cluttered mind was being asked to rest. Few excruciatingly painful hours later, with no respite, doc asked me to immediately come to the hospital. I was extremely tensed, but put on a brave front and trudged to the hospital. One look at the doc and my composed self crashed and the tears just wouldn’t stop….Some gentle words later, doc did a USG and was shocked to find that I had conceived triplets and one of them was naturally disintegrating and hence the bleeding. I was immediately hospitalized and put on observation. All that I was feeling that time was a huge sense of gratitude that atleast I wasn’t going home empty-handed. And not to mention that my amateur research on HCG levels was not totally off-the-mark.

So another week of hospitalisation, ceasation of bleeding and a USG to confirm 2 healthy heartbeats later, I was home on complete bed rest. Parents flew back leaving my darling neice in the trusting hands of her daycare aunty (something for which I will never forgive myself...that bcoz of me, my neice didnt enjoy some more time with her daada - daadi), injections, medicines, routinue check-ups continued and the feeling of being preganant set in. Initial euphoria gave in to huge mood swings, anxiety, basically making life miserable for all around me...Some coped with it, some didnt. And so the next couple of months were spent with me lying sprawled on the bed staring at the ceiling, looking at the sky from my bedroom window and counting the planes that flew by..At one point I could even guess the airline from the miniscule logo that I could manage to strain my eyes and see...In hindsight it seems hilarious, but those days I would literally count the hours. I mean, ofcourse I was truly happy and all that but to lie confined to a bed day in and day out while the rest of the world would go about their business used to get lonely sometimes...how many books can u read after a point...

Oh yes, most times I would tell myself to enjoy this, coz once my little ones would be out, I would have no time to put my feet up, but to be true to my heart, there used to be those moments of self-doubt when i used to feel if i cud pull it off. To top it, for someone who had wheels on her feet, it was quite difficult getting used to it. Moreover all the images that i had built in my mind of pregnancy..food cravings, cute maternity wear, the pamperings (esp by the spouse)...had just remained that....images and my reality was slightly different...But then no pain no gain...and here I was set for a windfall, in the form of two angels. So it couldnt have been all bad.

There was one thing I was petrified of though and that was labour pains.Just the thought used to freak me out..My doc had told me that I will probably have a early delivery by a couple of weeks and there is a good chance that we go in for a c-sec, since typically for IVF twin pregnancies, they dont want any complications (being difficult and precious pregnancy and all that....ofcourse all babies are precious but thats another story). And to tell you the truth, I was pretty cool about the C-sec, much contrary to what most expectant mothers feel about the dreaded c-sec. I remember talking to a like -mined friend (who was also expecting IVF twins at the same time as me) and telling her that we have nothing to worry on the pain front, coz we would never have to go through hours and hours of labour pains... I guess I forgot never say never...Little did I know what was in store for me and my little ones.

Rock-a-my-baby!

If there is anyone who can truly put things in the right perspective for me, it has to be my lilP. Now, I have never claimed to be gifted with an exceptional voice, but then since the moral police hasnt yet put the clamps on bathroom singing, I am encouraged to give in to the whims of my vocal chords once in a while. Now of all the people, I do expect my daughter to appreciate that, considering all the lullabys, hymns, rhymes that i have belted out for her ....on-demand anytime day or night.

Just the other day, I was trying to coarce lilP to take a nap, obviously the hidden agenda being, I could put my feet up and relax too. But mademoiselle had better plans..so a series of dry runs over the obstacle course (my battered body and a couple of cushions served the purpose) and umpteen attempts at prying my eyes open with her chubby fingers later, I decided to take the tried and tested route of singing her favourite lullabys to put her to sleep...Cuddled her close to me and started humming, saw her slowly relaxing, eyes drooping and was mentally pleased with myself.

Well the joy was shortlived, coz a minute later, lilP opened her eyes wide, looked straight into my eyes and put her fingers in her ears. Shocked out of my wits on comprehending what she was suggesting, I abruptly stopped singing....the little mite sniggered and promptly removed her fingers out of her ears...and blissfully fell asleep. Now...Now...Children truly are a reality check:-)

A baby story- part1

Have been meaning to put this down…even before I considered blogging…Not for posterity or reliving it but because someday I want to share it with my lil one and don’t want age playing tricks on the mind then. Will do it in 2 parts…coz its really really long…..

For a long long time, I felt I wasn’t prepared to be a mother and then when I thought I was ready, destiny wasn’t. As they say man proposes…god disposes…Then started the relentless trips to doc, tests, blah blah…only to be told there was nothing wrong (if you discount having PCOD, since these days the whole world and their neighbors seem to have this)…well then what was…Anyway a couple of IUIs later, was recommended to a very good fertility specialist, who completely won me over with her honest feedback, cheerful disposition and warmth. So we decided to go the IVF way. By then, I had mentally decided that this was going to be my last medical effort…and if god was willing, I would be blessed, else life I guess would go on….

Started on the IVF cycle in August 2006, only to abort it midway due to high sugar levels which would reduce chances, so doc changed course, decided to get sugar levels under control and then restart the IVF cycle. Early December, we began the routine suppression cycle again, followed by stimulating meds and injections, scans etc…everything under control, egg retrieval was scheduled for Jan 6, 2006, which went off well, my lilP was conceptualized that very day….2 days later Jan 8, 2006, we had the embryo transfer done and since we had two good embryos, doc decided to do a second transfer the day after as well to increase our chances. Then began the excruciating wait, hoping, praying for our own miracle..Every little symptom of pregnancy on the internet was searched, read, reviewed…signing off with consolation that it was too early. Meanwhile all the ovarian hyper-stimulation was beginning to show its after effects, with a bloating belly (due to water retention apparently). I was in constant touch with doc who kept assuring me it was ok, but nonetheless telling me to call her if I felt differently.

On Jan 18, middle of a busy workday…I began to feel just that…called the doc, who asked me to see her at once…She had one look at me and asked me to get hospitalized…my face turned pale and instinctively she turned around and said that this was due to hyper-stimulation and that this was only so I would be monitored more carefully, especially since I stayed pretty far(almost 25kms) from the hospital and couldn’t rush there everynow and then. Wasn’t scheduled for the blood work to test HCG levels till Jan 23rd or so and was highly nervous with these turn of events. All that I could do was pray and pray and pray some more. The next day, Jan 19, doc decided there was no harm in testing for HCG, gave the blood sample and waited…tensed, cranky….hubby was out on work and I was sitting in my hospital bed…fidgeting with the TV remote and pushing away the tasteless food, all the while looking at the time and wishing for it to show 2pm (it was around that time, that normally all the bloodwork reports came in), the assistant doc came into my room….asked me how I was feeling…I guessed she had come for her routine check and just shrugged my shoulders …looking at her wistfully…She came close to me, held my hand and said that the results were out. i looked into her eyes questioningly and she said the HCG levels are good….which means u r pregnant….

For what seemed liked ages I am sure…I just didn’t react. So she repeated, as if not sure if I had heard it right. And then something in me gave away…and I just hugged her tight and cried my heart out……yes…somewhr at the back of my mind…I was preparing myself to be disappointed and this news was just so perfect…that I couldn’t hold back the storm…………Then ofcourse…hubby was called (who was more relieved than delighted, I think), parents were woken up (they were visiting my bro in US, so was way past midnight thr)…S-i-l was called, a close friend was spoken to and the joy was shared enthusiastically.